I know about how a lot of people don't like to read about certain things so this is why I’m giving a warning-I feel I must explain the nature of this warning.
One of the things is there will be a lot of spiritual and religious material in my blog.
About God- for many years before I became a Christian I believed in God but was considered agnostic about Jesus. I became a bona fide Christian in the spring after I turned 30 years old. I also have my own set ideas and beliefs about religion and I am non-denominational. I have read the Bible (old and new testaments) front to back, two different versions: the Good News Bible (the one you find in hotel rooms- I found mine set out as garbage in a pile of books) and the St. Ignatius Press Holy Bible (I took catechism classes at a catholic church and bought the bible from there). I have never read the King James Bible however I have heard it is very beautifully written but somewhat inaccurate.
I also feel a lot of religions misrepresent the bible and what it means; the catholic church has many “assumptions” and beliefs which are rendered out of the mystical minds of a bunch of scholastic “holy men” who may be no holier than the janitor at the local mall however I do believe they mean well and the catholic church is a “mystical” church and mysticism is very spiritual in general, so am I. the catholic church plays a big part in my becoming Christian, I just wish so to change some of their religious doctrine and I think the religion would then be my favorite. One of my favorite churches I frequent is a catholic one, very old fashioned one and it is a beautiful place to visit- the sights of the architecture, the sounds of the choir and the silence…the smell of the incense and the way the service is set up. But I only like to visit very beautifully done up churches, or special ones…some are just special for some reason, maybe for the people, event, or place depending.
One of my newest favorite sayings is “going to church does not make you a true Christian as standing in your garage makes you a car” got that from “face book”! and it is so true, you know in the bible it simply states that real spirituality begins at home, usually, by oneself alone. I consider it a very personal thing and no group of people can make you something you are not. I think the community of the church is to share the spiritual experience, but sadly, not a lot of people are truly spiritual, holy religious people even though they may go to church and brag about it…but I’m not the typical churchgoer. I have taught my kids what they know, and tried to on a daily basis and we sometimes go to church and when we do we get all mystical about it.
Anyway, I mentioned I am non-denominational. My beliefs I get straight out of the bible and will simplify this for you- I believe God is 1st, the holy father and I believe his son Jesus is the messiah as foretold. I believe Jesus is our lord king of this earth and sits at the right hand of the father, I believe he is not the father, but has his own soul as each of us have our own soul and we do not have 2 souls in 1, meaning I do NOT think Jesus is god the father. Jesus did not think he was god the father, it is stated many times in the bible that Jesus prayed by himself to god the father, he calls out to god the father. God is our father, and Jesus is our brother, and he is all special…he is the 1st son. And I believe my doctrine is correct, I believe I am perceiving the bible correct when I say this. I also believe I am correct because of my own relationship with god and Jesus. I believe in miracles because I’ve had them happen and have been close to others that have had them happen. I have because of my faith in god asked him and received many things, miraculously (I will get into more detail later) I never had blind faith really. For as long as I can remember I have believed in god for some reason…just had the feeling of a higher being out there, and you know what? There is a god, no doubt in my mind. And there is a Jesus, no doubt in my mind because I know, not of blind faith (bless all those people with blind faith!) I am too stubborn for blind faith. Like I said I was 30 years old when I finally became a bona-fide Christian and it was not by blind faith really. It’s hard to explain but lets just say me becoming a Christian was a miracle and I want to tell you my story.
Another content warning here- I mean what I say. I do not go around assuming things. When I say something is factual and I mean something it is because it is so because of my knowledge of something, I don’t do guessing or assumptions, but sometimes when testing a hypothetical theory I may get that way. But when I say the sky is blue you better believe it. When I say “do you think it may rain?” it means it just may rain and usually does, ok? Get it? If I say I am assuming something I mean just that. I mean what I say and I say what I mean, so don’t get confused about it.
Thirdly, I have a wide range of knowledge, I have been through a lot, nothing about me is really typical and I have strived for many years trying to be more “normal/ typical and not so complex” but I am, and it is nothing I am proud of, but I do appreciate it.
I am also somewhat well educated. I am in college at the moment and my GPA is fantastic for someone who has not completed high school (3.67) and I also could be a 4.0 but I got a bit careless and sloppy a few semesters. There is a possibility I may go and repeat a few classes to get a perfect 4.0. God forbid I do this because in a way it’s senseless.
One of my imperfections is I can be a perfectionist most the time about some things, but I don’t expect others to adhere to my way of things. I have spent a lot of personal hours reading and researching things that interest me for example, I have read over a hundred books on psychology and some psychiatric issues, and hundreds of articles and many books on medical stuff as well as taking the college anatomy and physiology 1 and 2, along with the other college stuff. I know my things mostly…
Because of my disability (I’m nearly deaf) I have had to rely on other sensory receptors besides hearing to understand the world and get my knowledge. I am very in tune to peoples feelings and actions and because of this I am pursuing a medical field career. I can notice the slightest difference from moment to moment in someone, especially when I am to be watching out for a change. I am very detail orientated, I am very visual and I notice a lot too. I think this compensates for my not hearing the whole. I may not pick up every noise or everything said, but I will pick up things the normal person does not pick up because of my other heightened sensory functions.
I have not lived the usual life so far, but as time goes by and since I have been an adult it has gotten more normal, and I so thank god for this.
I have come from a very diverse background growing up and my past history growing up has been a bit shady I think, also based on survival and not so well looked at depending on who you may be and how you look at it. I went through a really extra tough teenage time and I am lucky to even be alive.
I thank all the wonderful people out there that have helped me survive, have been a friend of mine and have given me comfort in tough times, solace in confusion, those of you who have offered me shelter and food and a shoulder to cry on, who have taught me and listened and have been tolerant with me. I thank my wonderful grandmother, mother of my father for teaching me never to give up- hope and faith, to stand up for what I am passionate about, for teaching me about god and love and education and family values, you have been missed for many years and I hope you are watching me because I think you would be so proud (finally!) and I thank my mother for loving me, and never giving up hope on me either through all the tough crazy times the word has thrown our way. I thank my children, the most precious on this earth to me, for bringing me closer to what really matters, because without you children I don’t think I could have made it this far. I feel so blessed to be mother of the 3 neatest human beings on this earth, 3 of who will always have my whole heart forever. I love you all.
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